Up on the Roof

We all have a place where we go to in order to do some heavy thinking.  The Drifters (or James Taylor, depending on your tastes) sing about the roof as a popular 'think tank' of sorts.
For me, all I have to do is go to Facebook.
Every once in a while, I read a post from a friend that's rather thought-provoking.  Not a 'facebook friend', but a real live one I've known since seventh grade.
She stated in said post that she has become increasingly emotional through the years when it comes to parting ways with a dear friend after a visit back to Pennsylvania or when a friend from here makes their way to her home in western Indiana.  She blames it on age, hormones, or maybe even the years since her father's passing.
Friendships...easy to make.  Very difficult to maintain.
This woman is my hero.  For being more than 450 miles from where we grew up, she's managed to stay in touch with her 'BFF's', even in the days where we didn't have social media.
Years before we even dreamed such a thing would exist.
She picked up the phone.  She got out the paper and pen.
Men suck at this.  On behalf of my gender, I do apologize.
In the media, the public is led to believe that women perceive guys as spending too much time with their friends.  I personally don't know of any guy who hangs with their friends on a regular basis. 
Most of the ones I know don't for a number of reasons...for which none of us will admit, up to now.
We assume our friends understand.
We worry ourselves with not being there for our spouse or children.
The 'honey-do' list doesn't get done by itself.
We prioritize family over friendships.
We think we don't have the time.
More than that, we don't think we're allowed to have that time.
Life gets in the way, we often say.
Because what happens if?
What if we miss a critical moment in our son or daughter's lives?  Will we be one day served with divorce papers at work because we're not allowing time for our spouse?
I think about these things a great deal...but I also think about times I could have been there for a friend but wasn't.
During Kevin's near-miss with melanoma.  Randy's divorce.  Cary's advanced age.  The passing of Ted's mother.  The passing of Kelly's father. Greg's separation from his son.  A promised fishing trip with Ben I still have yet to make good on.
Why didn't I pick up the phone and call?  Or visit?  Why do I allow social media or email do the work for me?
I wish I knew the answer.
To all my friends, I say this.
I may not always stay in touch.
I may not always drop what I'm doing to be there for you.
I may know you need me, but don't act upon it.
I may not always think of you.
I don't deserve your friendship.
I will always suck at this, despite my best efforts.
But know this much.
I don't forget my true friends.
Ever.


NOTE:  Ken's Korner will go on hiatus for the summer until Sunday, September 21st.