You've heard of the fabled "honey-do" list, right? The imaginary (or written) list of home improvement chores a wife bestows upon her hubby to accomplish on the weekends?
For me personally, it didn't exist before we had our child. We always were able to find the time. Now having a small one that demands constant attention at this stage of her young life, we have to take the time as we can get it.
And it's not always when we're full of pep and energy.
This fatigue sometimes makes projects go awry...thus spawning the 'honey-don't" list. Why don't we have more of these?
The 'honey-don't' list can be best described like this...if you remember the ABC sitcom "Home Improvement" at all during the 1990s, remember every mishap that Tim Allen had on the show and at home.
"Honey, you're not qualified to re-wire the house...let's call someone. I mean, your dad's a retired electrician, right? Let's call him!"
Most men wouldn't heed a warning like this. But growing up in the house of an electrician, even I know when I'm licked.
My latest project has been a patio pad in the backyard. It was "finished" yesterday, or supposed to be anyway. After seeing its lumps and dips underneath the patio stones, it became inevitably clear that I would have to borrow a tamping tool from my dad to finish it properly.
Fortunately, I have a very understanding wife who's patient enough in times like these. She always understands when I bring up the point of saving money by taking up certain tasks on my own.
However, there will come the day where one of my around-the-house blunders will lead to a medical bill that will far exceed what we could have paid a professional to do the job right in the first place.
And we've all had them, right guys?
Come on...'fess up!
Proof positive that we're the weaker sex.
We won't give up on our right to exercise our male right to home improvement independence.
Fire and personal injury be damned!
NEXT WEEK: If it's a 'smart' phone...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Get on Board the Bus
"Bus!"
That's the voice of my daughter, who recently celebrated her 22nd month on this cherished planet, as she watches a tractor-trailer roll by.
"No, honey. That's a tractor trailer. A semi. Can you say semi?"
"Bus!"
Then comes a school bus.
"Bus!"
"Yes, honey. That is a bus."
Savannah is beginning to form words and some very small sentences. However, she needs to get her vernacular straight if she's to make the fourth generation of motorheads in the family.
"Bus!"
"That's a van, Savannah."
"Van...van...van."
"There you go."
She knows words like "truck" and "car", and can use those correctly, but vehicles like box trucks, motorhomes, tractor-trailers, and coal trucks, she hasn't quite figured out yet. Minivans are even a little tricky.
"Bus!"
Go with what you know, right kid?
Then on the way to go shopping one day, we passed the local school bus garage not far from our home.
"Bus!"
We pointed out how many there were parked at the garage.
She had the time of her life, so excited by the find.
It gets me thinking that in another three years, she will be boarding one for the very first time as she goes to her very first day of school.
And my mind will flash back to those days when she was saying those one-word sentences...most of them "Bus!"
Will she cling to Daddy and not want to leave, or will she fly out of the house and through the door of the school bus?
Either way, I'll be thinking of one word.
"Bus!"
NEXT WEEK: The Honey-do List
That's the voice of my daughter, who recently celebrated her 22nd month on this cherished planet, as she watches a tractor-trailer roll by.
"No, honey. That's a tractor trailer. A semi. Can you say semi?"
"Bus!"
Then comes a school bus.
"Bus!"
"Yes, honey. That is a bus."
Savannah is beginning to form words and some very small sentences. However, she needs to get her vernacular straight if she's to make the fourth generation of motorheads in the family.
"Bus!"
"That's a van, Savannah."
"Van...van...van."
"There you go."
She knows words like "truck" and "car", and can use those correctly, but vehicles like box trucks, motorhomes, tractor-trailers, and coal trucks, she hasn't quite figured out yet. Minivans are even a little tricky.
"Bus!"
Go with what you know, right kid?
Then on the way to go shopping one day, we passed the local school bus garage not far from our home.
"Bus!"
We pointed out how many there were parked at the garage.
She had the time of her life, so excited by the find.
It gets me thinking that in another three years, she will be boarding one for the very first time as she goes to her very first day of school.
And my mind will flash back to those days when she was saying those one-word sentences...most of them "Bus!"
Will she cling to Daddy and not want to leave, or will she fly out of the house and through the door of the school bus?
Either way, I'll be thinking of one word.
"Bus!"
NEXT WEEK: The Honey-do List
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Four Generations
The week before last marked the arrival of my grandmother-in-law.
"Nanny", as she's affectionately called by her grandkids (including my wife, who also is Nanny's namesake), arrived in Pennsylvania from Brandon, Florida on Thursday, May 5th.
Nanny is no stranger to our locale, but this marked the first visit she would make to the new home my wife and I moved into Memorial Day weekend of 2009.
Lots to be done, of course. Cleaning the house thoroughly is one thing, and making sure the outside is free of weeds and other debris, of course. But then came an even bigger project.
The bathroom.
Specifically, the bathroom I've called 'mine' since we've moved in. Our house has two and a half baths, and one had been pretty much untouched since it was first built in 1966.
Pink wallpaper, and pink and white tile. My wife and I talked about eventually updating it, but with Nanny's visit coming up, she wanted it done sooner, rather than later.
And the clock was ticking.
We recruited my brother to do the demolition work to the concrete bunker that doubled as the shower, as well as remove the fixtures and assemble some of the new furniture. We hired a drywall contractor to put up new drywall, the shower insert, and lay the new floor tiles.
Margie and I took care of everything else, with my Dad buttoning up some minor plumbing and electrical issues.
The paint had barely dried when Nanny arrived.
We did it.
Margie promised that she'd wait a few weeks before giving me another time-limited home improvement project.
My drywaller told me there's two things that women look at when buying a house...the bathrooms and the kitchen.
That should give you a hint, he said.
He also said "A happy wife is a happy life".
Another hint.
NEXT WEEK: The Magic Bus
"Nanny", as she's affectionately called by her grandkids (including my wife, who also is Nanny's namesake), arrived in Pennsylvania from Brandon, Florida on Thursday, May 5th.
Nanny is no stranger to our locale, but this marked the first visit she would make to the new home my wife and I moved into Memorial Day weekend of 2009.
Lots to be done, of course. Cleaning the house thoroughly is one thing, and making sure the outside is free of weeds and other debris, of course. But then came an even bigger project.
The bathroom.
Specifically, the bathroom I've called 'mine' since we've moved in. Our house has two and a half baths, and one had been pretty much untouched since it was first built in 1966.
Pink wallpaper, and pink and white tile. My wife and I talked about eventually updating it, but with Nanny's visit coming up, she wanted it done sooner, rather than later.
And the clock was ticking.
We recruited my brother to do the demolition work to the concrete bunker that doubled as the shower, as well as remove the fixtures and assemble some of the new furniture. We hired a drywall contractor to put up new drywall, the shower insert, and lay the new floor tiles.
Margie and I took care of everything else, with my Dad buttoning up some minor plumbing and electrical issues.
The paint had barely dried when Nanny arrived.
We did it.
Margie promised that she'd wait a few weeks before giving me another time-limited home improvement project.
My drywaller told me there's two things that women look at when buying a house...the bathrooms and the kitchen.
That should give you a hint, he said.
He also said "A happy wife is a happy life".
Another hint.
NEXT WEEK: The Magic Bus
Sunday, May 8, 2011
We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Column...
...for this important bulletin.
Osama is dead.
Little did I know when I got up Monday morning and checked my email, that I would find the headline screaming at me that the most hated man in the free world had finally been brought to his knees and swiftly executed.
It was a great day for our military. Those in combat troops, and those in Special Forces involved in the Navy SEAL operation that found Osama Bin Laden hiding in Afghanistan.
And some thanks goes to President Barack Obama. Though I am a Republican, and he is a Democrat, I believe credit is due to the man who helped finish the job that we started in the Middle East in 2003, about a year and a half after the chain of events that started it all.
And our job is far from over.
Our worst enemy in human form has been obliterated. We now have a new one.
Complacency.
We live in the greatest country on earth. We are feared, respected, and even revered, at the same time. But as the events of September 11, 2001 have proven, even we're not immune to the most carefully planned attack against us.
Since then, we've been vigilant against those who have tried to repeat the terror of September 11th. Thus far, we've been successful.
Al-Qaeda has been in existence since the late 1980s. Their mere presence has only been inked in every American's mind since the events of September 11th. Osama Bin Laden's end is not the end of al-Qaeda. Nor is it the end of terrorism as we know it. These operations are still in existence, and they are well-funded. It's only a matter of time before another Osama Bin Laden rises to the ranks where he too will try to carry on the mission of terror on America and the rest of the world...all in the name of God.
President Obama must stay the course and not give in to those who say it's time now to focus on domestic issues. We can't ignore what happens at home, but at the same time, we can't ignore what happens overseas with an agenda focused on destroying our home.
This is our home.
And, as the most powerful nation on earth, we have an obligation to fight for those who are willing, but unable to fight for themselves.
The war on terror is not over. It won't be over for some time.
This is our home.
And I will protect it with my life.
So should you.
NEXT WEEK: Nanny's Visit
Osama is dead.
Little did I know when I got up Monday morning and checked my email, that I would find the headline screaming at me that the most hated man in the free world had finally been brought to his knees and swiftly executed.
It was a great day for our military. Those in combat troops, and those in Special Forces involved in the Navy SEAL operation that found Osama Bin Laden hiding in Afghanistan.
And some thanks goes to President Barack Obama. Though I am a Republican, and he is a Democrat, I believe credit is due to the man who helped finish the job that we started in the Middle East in 2003, about a year and a half after the chain of events that started it all.
And our job is far from over.
Our worst enemy in human form has been obliterated. We now have a new one.
Complacency.
We live in the greatest country on earth. We are feared, respected, and even revered, at the same time. But as the events of September 11, 2001 have proven, even we're not immune to the most carefully planned attack against us.
Since then, we've been vigilant against those who have tried to repeat the terror of September 11th. Thus far, we've been successful.
Al-Qaeda has been in existence since the late 1980s. Their mere presence has only been inked in every American's mind since the events of September 11th. Osama Bin Laden's end is not the end of al-Qaeda. Nor is it the end of terrorism as we know it. These operations are still in existence, and they are well-funded. It's only a matter of time before another Osama Bin Laden rises to the ranks where he too will try to carry on the mission of terror on America and the rest of the world...all in the name of God.
President Obama must stay the course and not give in to those who say it's time now to focus on domestic issues. We can't ignore what happens at home, but at the same time, we can't ignore what happens overseas with an agenda focused on destroying our home.
This is our home.
And, as the most powerful nation on earth, we have an obligation to fight for those who are willing, but unable to fight for themselves.
The war on terror is not over. It won't be over for some time.
This is our home.
And I will protect it with my life.
So should you.
NEXT WEEK: Nanny's Visit
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Spring Has Sprung
Finally, it's here.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
"Whatever, Ken".
Rightfully said. All it's been is snow in liquid form, as a couple of my colleagues have alluded to.
Whatever.
Yes, I promised to touch on this a couple weeks ago. However, I'll thank you to forgive me for that, as we were still 'iffy' about the weather situation.
I now believe it can't be any safer to say we've left Old Man Winter in the dust for another year.
Yeah, I'm optimistic.
What-EVER!
Spring has also borne the honey-do list at my house. However, it's been somewhat modified due to the high volume of rain we've been receiving.
Case in point...my brother repaired a leak we discovered in the rusty wheel of my tractor's tire. As I went out to test it, I discovered I had to keep the tractor moving in order to keep it from sinking into the rain-saturated ground, splashing mud all over the chassis and mower deck.
Yesterday marked the first day we've had thus far that's afforded enough time for the ground to absorb the rain. With this, I was able to go out and do my first 'cutting' of the season before it got tall enough for a mama bunny to nest her babies and it being too late for me to react when I came at them with my mower.
Yeah, I killed Thumper and his siblings. Bad Ken.
Nonetheless, spring is here.
And it ultimately gives way to summer.
But as I stated earlier, the honey-do list hasn't been eliminated because of the weather. Simply modified.
Margie and I are in a race against time to finish our one bathroom, as this week will mark a rare visit by her 84-year-old maternal grandmother from Tampa. It will also be her first visit to our new home.
This is not an easy task in a full-time two-paycheck household with a 21-month-old child.
Here's how you do it...after you put the kid to bed, use your 'alone time' to finish one piece at a time. Then get up early before the kid does, and get more done. Use personal days or vacation time if necessary.
Let's face it, if you have to be sleep-deprived, you might as well be productive about it.
NEXT WEEK: Nanny's Visit
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
"Whatever, Ken".
Rightfully said. All it's been is snow in liquid form, as a couple of my colleagues have alluded to.
Whatever.
Yes, I promised to touch on this a couple weeks ago. However, I'll thank you to forgive me for that, as we were still 'iffy' about the weather situation.
I now believe it can't be any safer to say we've left Old Man Winter in the dust for another year.
Yeah, I'm optimistic.
What-EVER!
Spring has also borne the honey-do list at my house. However, it's been somewhat modified due to the high volume of rain we've been receiving.
Case in point...my brother repaired a leak we discovered in the rusty wheel of my tractor's tire. As I went out to test it, I discovered I had to keep the tractor moving in order to keep it from sinking into the rain-saturated ground, splashing mud all over the chassis and mower deck.
Yesterday marked the first day we've had thus far that's afforded enough time for the ground to absorb the rain. With this, I was able to go out and do my first 'cutting' of the season before it got tall enough for a mama bunny to nest her babies and it being too late for me to react when I came at them with my mower.
Yeah, I killed Thumper and his siblings. Bad Ken.
Nonetheless, spring is here.
And it ultimately gives way to summer.
But as I stated earlier, the honey-do list hasn't been eliminated because of the weather. Simply modified.
Margie and I are in a race against time to finish our one bathroom, as this week will mark a rare visit by her 84-year-old maternal grandmother from Tampa. It will also be her first visit to our new home.
This is not an easy task in a full-time two-paycheck household with a 21-month-old child.
Here's how you do it...after you put the kid to bed, use your 'alone time' to finish one piece at a time. Then get up early before the kid does, and get more done. Use personal days or vacation time if necessary.
Let's face it, if you have to be sleep-deprived, you might as well be productive about it.
NEXT WEEK: Nanny's Visit
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)