Get My Fash On

"I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York or Japan..."
Enter the syncopated drum machine here, and you have the one-hit wonder Right Said Fred's 1991 smash, that still finds its way onto radio playlists, much to my chagrin.
It's also been the anthem for just about every fashion model on the planet.
For the past several years, I've modeled for an annual fashion show fundraiser for St. Barnabas Charities.   They ask for local celebrities to model clothes, and I was one of the "lucky" ones some time ago, and have done it ever since.
I enjoy it.  Who doesn't enjoy wearing clothes they can't really afford, if only for a moment?
I started wearing two outfits, then three as the years progressed.
The agenda changes each year.
Most of the same models participate, like me.  And we always try to find a way to be more efficient with our clothes-changing, only to see things change once again.
When we're out on the 'runway', we have literally SECONDS to change into our next outfit, if we're modeling another one.
The first outfits are usually casual, with the second or third becoming more formal.
When we model the first outfits, the audience is given a substantial bio on each one of us, in addition to the wardrobe we're modeling.  What we do for a living, how long we've done the fashion show, family and kids, even hobbies and interests.
Naturally, the powers-that-be like to keep the best for last.  As in, the more formal outfits as the very last ones we put on.
I said before that we have seconds to change into our next outfit.  Cut that amount in less than half if you're putting on a tuxedo.  It's the most time-consuming outfit to wear...so many accessories.
This year, I was pretty impressed with my outfits.
Especially the suit and the tuxedo.
You know why?
Because I learned I could run in them.
You have to.
I barely have my pants up on the suit when the knock comes on the dressing room door.
"Ken, we need you...you're on in a minute."
What the what?
I knotted my tie while walking (OK, running), and just had the other shoe tied when my cue came.
Now I understand why so many models fall on the runway.
They don't have enough time to get dressed, and then not enough time to maintain balance.
I'm so glad I don't do it for a living.


NEXT WEEK:   Sandy Beach