Family Matters

You're probably wondering about the reason behind my unannounced 'hiatus' from my column last month, for those of you willing to give a few minutes of your time each Sunday to what it is I have to say.
An upcoming vacation, our daughter's beginning of preschool, and a sudden death in the family, are life changes that, when all happening simultaneously, can require the most seasoned journalist to need time to regroup.
The death in the family was the big one.
My cousin Tina had been battling kidney disease since the age of seven.  The daughter and youngest child of my father's younger brother Bob and his wife Bev, she had been used to fighting to live for almost her entire life.
Two kidney transplants still did little to restore the independence that we all too often take for granted.  Having the strong will of Uncle Bob, she didn't allow her illnesses to stop her from living.
To those of us who knew her, she was a fighter who never backed down from a challenge and if told she couldn't do something she would do it with all the passion she had for the sake of proving that person wrong.
And most often, she did.  Even if it meant putting her own health at risk.
To those who didn't know her, she might have been perceived as someone characterized with a five-letter word for a female dog that rhymes with 'pitch'.
Someone once told me that it's an acronym that means Babe In Total Control of Herself.
And Tina was just that.
Because I did know her.
She was very much in control of her own life.  She made some choices in life that put her health in jeopardy, but she was someone determined to live her life to the fullest.
She didn't just survive her illness for many years, she also survived a failed marriage, and despite her health challenges, she managed to find happiness the second time around with Mike.
I would later learn that Mike is a U.S. Marine.  He has been honorably discharged, but as all Marines know, "Semper Fi".  Once a Marine, always a Marine.
It would take that level of strength to endure her challenges with her.
He went into their marriage knowing of her poor health, the fact that children together would be impossible, if not potentially deadly, and that she might not live a full life as we knew it.
Tina had a couple 'close calls' during her teen years, and even became a Make-A-Wish kid.  She received an above-ground swimming pool that year.
But she didn't 'milk' her health problems for the sake of taking advantage.
And no one dared to complain about a headache or bad back in her presence.  I can still see her rolling her eyes and thinking to herself how she wished that's all she had.
Her often-brutal honesty was one of her defining characteristics.  But we all took it in stride.
I often do modeling for a fashion show to raise money for a personal care home concern in Pittsburgh's North Hills.  I was talking about it with my Aunt Bev at a family function one year and Tina overheard us.
"You were in a fashion show?  Their standards must be pretty low."
Then she walked away.  I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows and smile, turning to Aunt Bev.
Bev said "if she were any other way, you'd think there's something wrong" with a laugh.
Very true.  We still loved her nonetheless.
One week before she died, my wife and I, along with our three-year-old daughter, went to Bob and Bev's for a cookout.  Tina was there with her new puppy.  Having never met Savannah before, she approached her and put the little dog in Savannah's arms.
"Work on your parents," Tina said pointedly to Savannah.  "Get them to buy you a dog!"
And Tina knew a pet was not part of our plans.  But that didn't stop her.
"I don't really like little kids," Tina told us later, "but she's adorable."
She then walked off, but then turned around.
"She takes after her mom," she added.
And there it is.
Being in an ego-driven profession such as radio, she was helping me keep mine in check.
Then it came time to leave.
"Seriously," she stage-whispered to Savannah, "tell them you want a dog!"
Then the call came one week later.


NEXT WEEK:  Part II